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About pages fucking suck, but if I don't have one you're just going to assume I look like Krang from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

I live in a bubble outside of the regular world. I don't watch modern TV... or even own an HDTV. I don't own a smart phone. I don't have any accounts on social media. This website is pretty much the only way to stay in touch with me. If you want to contact me, you can email me at Just be aware that I'm likely to respond to your email on my site and not privately, unless you're my long lost sister or a lesbian whore. But if you're a lesbian whore, there's still a chance I might brag about your email in public. I apologize in advance, but I don't get a lot of positive attention.

I'll go in depth with my history in Raccoonomicon, but long story short: I grew up isolated from the world in the Specific Northwest, had very limited access to things like the internet and television. My only video game console (excluding my handhelds and others I played at other people's houses) was a Nintendo 64, up until 2006 when I got a PS1 at a yard sale. I got my Gamecube and PS2 in 2007, and I got my original Xbox in 2011... which was also the same year I got my own internet connection. So up until then, I was fairly out of the loop. And even then, I had a hard time catching up.

Really, if you want to know more about me... just read the site. I tend to throw stories from my life and other random tidbits in everywhere. You may learn things or figure stuff out that you find interesting, and maybe you won't. Because I don't have social media, this is absolutely the only way to keep up with me. So if you're interested in the stuff I like or my random thoughts, bookmark the site and check back regularly.




Websites I Write For:

I'm the sole writer for and I'm an occasional contributor to and I got to run the Twitter for two episodes of Raw in a row after WrestleMania 32.