January 12th, 2021 :: 8:43pm
The only way for Donald Trump to redeem his image in the eye of the American public is to star in his own Chef Boyardee commercial with that little girl who's like "but I love Chef. "
January 12th, 2021 :: 6:09pm
Fun fact: if you only sleep like four hours every day for a week, your body will say "go fuck yourself" and make you sleep for 20 straight hours.
January 4th, 2021 :: 11:35pm
I saw a Pickle Rick pipe when I was at the smoke shop. It feels like I met Satan himself.
January 1st, 2021 :: 8:00am
We all have that one friend who owns a VCR so they can watch the movies they bought at the store.
January 1st, 2021 :: 7:21am
Pretty sure I had my ID stolen by a homeless man, and I can't get a new one until March. So you gotta give it to 2020: it did what it set out to do to us all.
January 1st, 2021 :: 6:28am
It's 2021. You know what that means.
December 26th, 2020 :: 12:23pm
Tom Hanks plays a retarded guy and wins awards. Meanwhile, I'm legitimately retarded and I just get yelled at.
November 19th, 2020 :: 4:29pm
People who dislike the Angela Anaconda skit in the beginning of Digimon: The Movie are cowards and fake fans.
November 16th, 2020 :: 7:13pm
Mary-Kate and Ashley movies should be played in Geography classes, since they travel the world in them and there's no way your teachers are smarter than the Olsen Twins anyway.
November 6th, 2020 :: 3:43pm
Here's to hoping my favorite Evil Lizard beats the other Evil Lizard in the Evil Lizard contest so they can be used as a puppet by the evil octopus who lives in the center of the Earth.