Date: February 23rd, 2020
Written by: Majin Tween
Human beings are fucking disgusting. I have met, in the last two months, easily 10+ people whose body just has this specific odor. It's like a burned out tire.
Like, of all the shit people could smell like. Perfume... shampoo. Nope. Burned tires.
What kind of awful shit are you people eating that is making you smell like that? Are you eating your dad's condoms out of the garbage can?
I don't understand why people are willingly so gross. They're fat, they smell, they dress like shit. It's not that fucking hard.
I leave the house in plaid skirts, t-shirts and fishnets. I'm frequently stopped and asked "where you headed dressed like that?"
And I'm like "ummm... here."
People's lack of care about their appearance is truly baffling. Like the people who buy shirts without logos on them.
Like, you just go to the store and you're like "I need the utility of a shirt... this brown one with a big pocket on the front. Sign me the fuck up. 'sperfect."
Or women who buy beige bras. Like, wtf. Get some design going. Some color. And show it to me so I know.
Like, people will wear sweatpants and not shave their legs because they're lazy, even though satin lingerie is way more comfortable than sweats AND more fashionable.
And don't give me that body positivity shit. Nothing can hurt you if you just say everything you think at 100% volume without even considering the social ramifications. I switched my Twitter trends to a language I can't even read. I don't know what the fuck's going on anymore. Cancel me, bitch. I wouldn't even notice.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be transforming into a magical otherwordly technicolor goddess capable of destroying the universe just to microwave a tuna sandwich that I'll take two bites of and never want to touch again.