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Galaxy Quest

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Film :: VHS Rewind :: Date: July 27th, 2019

Written by: Majin Tween

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I'm not a big Star Trek fan.

Something about a bunch of gaylords sitting around on a spaceship pushing buttons doesn't appeal to me.

I grew up watching Star Trek: The Next Generation and Voyager. My mom was a mark for those. But she also liked hard drugs and dangling five year olds over staircases to freak them out so I don't really gauge what good entertainment is on her opinion.

Galaxy Quest is a great movie though. It captures how absolutely depressing convention life is. Having to sit at a table, entertaining total fucking losers who pay money to meet human beings because they happened to have done something that they liked. There's literally no living person I would pay money to meet. That's just fucking stupid.

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So here's the deal. A bunch of aliens with terrible haircuts think that the stars of a hit TV show, Galaxy Quest, are actual space commanders that can save their species in an intergalactic war.

Yeah. They're fucking idiots.

They call the episodes of that show "historical documents." They're fucked. But Sigourney Weaver looks fucking great, which is confusing because in everything else she looks like she smells like unsoaped balls.

But you know what's really cool? Fucking GalaxyQuest.com, the (discontinued) official website.

Seriously. Look at this fucking thing.

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It rules.