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You're Invited to Mary-Kate and Ashley's Sleepover Party

avatarraccoon

Date: November 3rd, 2019

Written by: Majin Tween

To plan the perfect sleepover, you usually just need cute lingerie, N64 games and weed. But when you're still a young child you don't get to have real fun. That's why the Sega Pico exists. So little retards can have a good time without drugs and M-rated video games.

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But then Mary-Kashley reveals that she didn't send out the invitations! They're still stuck to her clipboard! Fuck! God damn it!

When their friends show up for the sleepover, one of them says "man I haven't been to your house in ages!"

Bitch, you haven't been ALIVE for ages. You're like two years old. Fuck off.

mkasleepover2

Then another one says "I like how it was before though." Like anyone asked for this irrelevant bitch's opinion.

The token black friend says "hey, watch THIS new dance!" and then starts boogying like an insane person. She tries to get this bizarre little leprechaun of a girl to join in, but she says "I don't want to."

If you watch my videos, you probably recognize the clip of her saying that becaue it's hilarious.

Fun fact: when I was 5, I saw how stupid Mary-Kate looked in overalls and told my mom I never wanted to wear overalls ever again.

Trent and his friends walk in cranking the most bizarre looping midi of a drum beat while the girls cover their ears in agony. As they should. I don't know what the fuck he's listening to but it's fucking atrocious.

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Seriously. Listen to this.

We flash back to Our First Video where they sang "Brother for Sale." That's what I love about the MKACU (Mary-Kate and Ashley Cinematic Universe.) The continuity is impeccable.

Then they start playing Video Monsters and singing a song about it. They're playing with NES joysticks and boppin' their little butts off. This then segues into them all putting on nasty facepaint and singing another song about scary stuff, like bugs and male nudity.

But after the song, Trent's friends show up and start calling them whores. This makes them sing a second verse of the song while Trent flails his hands around like an effeminate butt pirate.

They order a cheese pizza and start adding all kinds of nasty shit to it. Anchovies, chocolate sauce, marshmallows, used condoms, cocaine. It's madness.

My favorite song on this tape is Pullin' An All Nighter. It fucking rules. One of the lines in the chorus is "we're pullin' an all nighter! If grownups can do it, there can't be that much to it."

Has their ever been such a vicious middle finger to adulthood? Jesus Christmas.

Then they ALMOST go into Beach Boy territory with "wouldn't it be nice", but dodging it just ever so slightly and kickflipping into another song about passing the fuck out."