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Sex Has a Price Tag

avatarraccoon

Film :: VHS Rewind :: Date: June 14th, 2019

Written by: Raccoon

Stop touching your boob. It's a sin.

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This is Sex Has a Price Tag. A public-speaking tape about how you should sew your vagina shut until a man who has never gotten a boner shoves it straight in there and rips it up.

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You can tell Pam Stenzel is an intelligent person worthy of giving advice because she's wearing really big shoulder pads.

Pam's entire gimmick is standing up on stage and telling you that rubbing genitals with other humans feels good, but you shouldn't do it unless the government says it's okay. Apparently Pam's father was a rapist, but her mother decided that aborting her rape baby would be frowned upon by the hens at the supermarket so she decided to keep the demon spawn and birth it. That demonbaby grew up to be Pam.

Don't let the fact that she's talking about genital warts fool you: she's an extremely damaged psychological sex goddess.

She mentioned that she doesn't know the ethnicity of her father, so she doesn't know what she is. This is extremely evident because every time you see her she's presenting herself as a new ethnicity.

No. I'm not joking.

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My staunch hatred of humanity keeps me borderline asexual, but this woman's such an idiot it makes me want to have 46 children out of wedlock and watch them starve to death.

Besides. Straight girls use men as cock-wielding utilities to qualm the high-intense sexual edging they cause by having lesbian-foreplay with women for like six straight weeks. I know this because right after I watched Sex Has a Price Tag, we popped in Showgirls.

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By the way: sex movies have a price tag too. This one was 99 cents.

If you wanna fuck, you should fuck. Marriage is a bullshit institution that shouldn't exist. I'm not going to legally enslave myself to you and go to Home Depot. I'd rather shoot myself in the throat with a vomit-filled potato gun.

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