I am a relic of an ancient society that no longer exists. I have witnessed the fall of my culture and I live within the ruins.
One of my people's go-to meals isn't even accessible anymore.
Lunchables Hot Dogs and Hamburgers.
This shit fueled my stupid little child body during field trips. I wasn't allowed to have caffeine until I was 13, but for some reason the little tiny cola can that came in these Lunchables was totally fine. I had this before I ever had Pepsi or Coke. It's the real cola, because I'm the real deal. The genuine article. Only my experiences are valid. Everyone else's are filler in this world.
Doing some research, however, tells me that these things still exist. But I haven't seen them at the store in like 20 years, so I disagree. Plus I tweeted to them on my old account once saying they should bring it back and they were like "hey maybe if enough of you request it we will."
So how the fuck was I supposed to know they were still selling them?
This is bullshit. Nobody tells me anything.
According to the Lunchables Wiki, the contents of the Hot Dog one are as follows:
- 3 Hot Dog Buns
- 3 Wieners (LMFAO!)
- Ketchup (trying!)
- Mustard (gross! call it poop like a grown up)
- Milk Chocolate Candy Balls (later changed to Crunch Candy Bar, then Sour Patch Kids)
- Lunchables Cola (later changed to Capri-Sun Juice)
They got rid of the cola? Then it's not the same thing. I'm right. I'm always right. I know I'm right.
I swear I knew it all along. You're wrong! I'm correct about everything ever!
I'm not owned! I'm not owned! I'm not flawed! I'm not cleaning up so well!
LIMP BIZKIT! BRING IT ON!