You're Invited To Mary-Kate and Ashley's Sleepover Party

Date Posted: August 3rd, 2021

Mary-Kate and Ashley's Sleepover Party is an important piece of Cybergrunge culture.

Why? Because that's where the I Don't Want To girl comes from.

So, I've got a ton of books. Olsen Twins, Hannah Montana, comics. And I wanna start incorporating them into humanRaCcoOn. And I took an IQ test that said I'm not legally retarded, which screwed me out of collecting disability and leeching off the tit of George W. Bush.

But since I'm not retarded, it's time to get an ego. To become a pseudo-intellectual. To become so fucking annoying nobody wants to deal with my bullshit anymore.

And nobody is more annoying than people who read books.

So, this is the first edition of the Literature section here on the site.

This book is for children.

And so is Wu-Tang.

Anyway. Let's make like Funky Cold Medina and DO IT.

Holy shit. This thing's got a Geocities background in the beginning!

Those are just stars.

Hey. The only stars here are Mary-Kate and Ashley. Show them some fuggin' respect, son.

The story opens with Mary-Kate and Ashley wanting to have a party where people sleep. Sounds more like the end of a cult meeting, honestly. What's in the kool-aid, bitch?

They spend a while shit-talking their friends. They're like "oh Bryton always fucks off halfway through a party. She's so stupid and ugly. I hate her. I'm going to drown her parents in a lake of piss and burn the bible."

I'm not making it up. They said those words verbatim in this book.

They call their friends, tss what'd they call 'em?, and invited them over. That's when shit got crazy. Like, totes nanners. You can't even believe it.

Their friends agree to come over because they'll get free food and the false idea of friendship from two motherfuckers who wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire.

i'm sorry olsen twins. ily.

The voices are getting louder. They're screaming. They're angry about every mistake. They want your blood. They want it to pour from your open, severed veins. They want you to suffer. They want you to remember. They want the endless torment to continue until you can no longer.

Haha, I love Mary-Kate and Ashley! ^_^

Should I eventually review the VHS version of this story?

This face paint is really, really, really unbelievably scary. I can't handle it. I'm going to pee.

Like... Jesus Christmas. The imagery in this shit is horrific. I've seen VHS horror movies with less terrifying visuals, and this is a children's book! For little kids! Being exposed to this shit at such a young age is exactly why I'm so fucked up today. It traumatized me. It turned me into a monster. Will I ever know peace from this mortal prison?

Christ. Now I don't want to.

This is horrifying. I'm going to kill myself. I can't take this anymore. That's it. No more humanRaCcoOn. I'm done.

Oh... thank God. It was just a dream.

I guess I'll wait to kill myself until something else scary happens. o_O