Aaron's Party (Come Get It)

Date: October 14th, 2021

Something we as a nation need to come to accept is that it is Aaron's party and we are merely living in it.

The video for Aaron's Party (Come Get It) opens with Aaron Carter standing outside his ridiculously large house, where he tells the viewer "here's a little bit of old school for ya." I mean, damn. At the time? Not really old school. But now? It's a throwback. Aaron Carter was ahead of his time. A genius. A pioneer. A small, bisexual man.

He mentions that he's always trying to be the "flyest kid on the block" before we see him in a fur coat on a bicycle, pulling a Kid Rock.

Hey, wait. Block? Kid Rock? Those rhyme! I'm a rapper!

The girls ask Aaron if he's gonna throw the party of the month, but no. That would be for idiots. What do you think this is? The underachievement era? Aaron isn't about that bullshit life, you stupid whores. This is gonna be the party of the YEAR.

So wait, when did this video come out? Let's see... according to my research, this video came out in the year 2000. You know: that shit Al Gore kept chanting about. According to my research, events that took place this year include 20 Coptic Christians getting massacred by Muslim villagers in Kosheh, Egypt. The last known living pyrenean ibex was found dead because a tree fell on it. AOL merged with Time Warner (which led to the death of WCW). Kenya Airways Flight 431 crashed off the Ivory Coast into the Atlantic Ocean, killing 169 innocent people (haha that's the sex number with a cuck watching from the side) and the PlayStation 2 was released!

That's a lot to compete with, Aaron. This was a massive party year. But you know what? I believe in ya, kid. You got this.

Throwing a party is a lot like going to war.

Aaron decides to send his parents to watch a really long movie so he can hold his party and get zooted on DXM and lolis. That's when the party goes ape shit. The girls are frothing at the tips of their dicks for the Cart Man. (not to be confused with Eric Cartman from South Park) (I made up that nickname) (nobody calls Aaron Carter "The Cart Man") (but maybe they could start) (I think it could be a cultural phenomenon.)

During the midst of the party, some large black men show up. Usually that means the party's just getting started, but Aaron ain't about that life. Somebody had apparently put out a flyer for the party and invited these scary gents. Then everyone started trashing the house. Someone spilled juice on a pillow, someone broke a lamp, and some guy started using his mom's dildo to work out some of those problem turds that wouldn't fall out.

Aaron expressed concern that he would be excommunicated from his family following the events of this party, which would actually wind up being true when he naturally had a psychological break after being exploited by Hollywood pedophiles for money and then getting flushed the second he got too old. But don't worry. Family is overrated. All you need is sex, drugs and Donkey Kong 64.

Aaron's parents (come get it) show up at the party and his ass is grounded like beef in a taco. It just goes to show you: don't try to impress people because it'll ruin your life.