Bitch Please II

Date: September 3rd, 2021

While I was walking home from work tonight, I heard a voice from behind me go "AEHAHELTKH. AHLEHWLKGHAWLGKHAGLKH."

Which, you know, is kinda jarring.

So I turned around to look, and there was this dude walking behind me staring a hole through the back of my head.

My first thought? "Oh. I guess it's time for some rape."

So I politely crossed the street immediately and went to the sidewalk on the opposite side and resumed my walk. That's when I heard out of the corner of my ear some crinkling bag of some sort, looked over, and this guy was now walking on the median between the street. He was following me.

So I took a left and walked into the nearest parking lot and acted like I was heading into the building. As I passed the entryway, I turned around and noticed he was still walking behind me. This guy was legit following me.

I legitimately just took off running as fast as I could, literally lept a fence and went the long way back to my house just to lose him. Kept looking back to make sure he wasn't following me, etc. It was scary as fuck but luckily I lost him.

The point is: I am irresistable to men. They all wanna shoot cum in my eyes until I'm blind. It's a gift and a curse, really.

Anyway. Since my lovely encounter with that mysterious stranger, I decided now is a great time to review the Eminem/Snoop Dogg/Dr. Dre/X Z Bibbit joint simply called Bitch Please II. Because like, I'm always saying "bitch please" to people. I'm a bitch and I aim to please.

Ye. What up, Detroit?

Finally. A song we can all relate to, because we all live in Detroit.

Uninclusive bullshit. Fuck off.

You shit on these niggas two times, Dr. Dre!?

Just imagine these guys looking at the turds and going "wait... there's two of them!!!"

Oh wait. It's probably not literal... or shiteral.

That sounds like a medication that helps you poop. Shiterall.

It's a toast to the boogie, baby. The boogie, oogie, oogie.

First of all, Mr. Dogg. Serkan appreciates the shoutout, but it's actually Boogie Woogie Woogie Woogie Wuuuuuuuu.

God. It's like you're not enveloped in the humanRaCcoOn lore at all. SMH.

I'm so offended. If you're not ride, you're die, yo.

Also, why is Snoop Dogg saying the N word? He gave up his hood pass as soon as he did a frogsplash on AEW Dynamite.

You don't really wanna fuck with me. Only nigga that I trust is me.


By the time Eminem's verse on this song hits, I have a few questions. Mainly just when he says:

Suck my fuckin' dick, you faggot.

You're implying that the gentleman you're speaking to is a homosexual, and your response is an invitation to felate your penis cock.

I'm confused. You say it like it's a negative, but it seems like you want to have an orgasm in a dude's mouth.

I think Eminem has some stuff to work out within himself, and I wish him nothing but the best going forward.

You know, with the whole transtrendster daughter and getting his butt filled with Dr. Dre's injection needle.
Donate BTC: 3N2Q5AHR8hrc3tpEU1FzDvE1tqCpsEMJtS
Got a project you want to see promoted on HumanRaccoon?
Just include it in the donation note / RedBubble message and I'll include it in the next episode.