Written by: Majin Tween
This is gangsta shit, yo! Word up!
This album is cool right from the get-go just on the package alone. The plastic of the CD case itself is black! And so are the rappers!
I forgot there were black rappers!
"I ate paint chips the rare moon." - an actual Redman lyric— Human Raccoon 🦝 (@humanraccoon) August 4, 2019
What was supposed to be a simple review of Method Man and Redman's Blackout album went bananas when I actually took the time to look up what the fuck they were saying.
🦝 Full Review: https://t.co/6FbUi56ObA pic.twitter.com/4BXPiGsEh9
The CD opens with spraypaint noises, followed by Redman inquiring if his friend Method Man would like to get high. Method Man says "does Pinocchio have wooden balls?"
Dr. Hotdogs asked if Japedo carved out his wooden boy penis, which I thought was a fair question.
This song doesn't seem to actually be about anything, but the implication seems to be that the listeners will be so high that they won't care or notice.
It's got a good beat and their voices sound good, but they're not saying shit. I think I'm about to have a fucking blackout if this is how the whole album is gonna be.
Also, I think Method Man just said his shit stinks. I don't know. I was watching American Gladiators and barely paying attention.
Doc load up the cartridge and start kicking game like Acclaim
Well, hopefully your game's better than ECW Hardcore Revolution.
Because yikes on a clit that shit sucks dick.
Its a cold world. Better pack your own heat.
That's why I brought a blankie!
Every time I turn around somebody in my business.
Well maybe if you stopped talking about your wife Kim and your daughter Halie---
Wait. Wrong black guy. Sorry.
Dirty Dick niggas look suspicious. Ain't physically fit for the fitness. Welcome to the game of death, polly wanna biscuit? First prize, a one way ticket to my shit list. And I spread it like a rumor or a sickness. Stand-by let a chicken head lay a chicklet. Can I slap a fat ass with the quickness?
Okay, I just need to point out that not one word of that actually means anything.
This entire song is just "you a bitch." That's it. I'm starting to think that these guys should have just stuck to making movies about smoking weed because this album, so far, is my entire ass.
I like when you can tell that a rapper is about to say the sacred N slur because he's been saying forty six words that rhyme with it.
Yo, yo Funk Doc straight lunatic since young. I ate paint chips the rare moon. That pair mics, my maintenance.
...did this dude have a fucking stroke? What the fuck does any of that mean? "I ate paint chips the rare moon"? That's not a fucking sentence. That's just a bunch of random words thrown together. Is Redman fucking retarded?
I'm the sultan of the ghetto. The homicidal aficionado. I empty niggas out like Cristal bottles.
Does that mean you suck a fellas pecka until his soul leaves his body like those anti-smoking commercials?
...God. Rap is terrible. Like, I like the beats but they're always just like
Holy shit. This song is actually about something.
I liken making fun of children's cartoons from the 1980s to murdering people, so I relate heavily.
I mean, this song's not that great but it's at least fucking about something.
It's cool to write "the" like "da." It's appropriate because anyone who actually believes that frequently just sits there, drooling, going "Duhhhhh."
This song is short and hard like a perverted Asian dude.
Tear It Off
Apparently, if I don't tear the roof off I am going to run the risk of being shot in the upper left tit. That sucks, but I'm not the Incredible Hulk so I don't really have the strength to tear entire roofs off of buildings. Maybe I could get Jenny McCarthy to give me a vaccination and bless me with retard strength.
Yo, flipmode, toilet bowls explode when Doc come drop a shit load.
1, 2, 1, 2
This song is about The Count from Sesame Street in his old age when he develops dementia. "One! Two! Uh... One... Two... Who are you?"
Also, this song's intro welcomed me to "side B" of "the Blackout tape." I'm listening to the CD.
It's cool of them to rap over a PS2 tennis game main menu instrumental, but this song is the musical equivelant of two dicks and a single ball hanging off a woman's crotch. It's a slight change from what we've seen so far but it doesn't do anything useful. And the chorus is atrocious.
Run 4 Cover
Holy SHit this sucks. What the fuck am I listening to? It's like a game over track from a video game on loop while some guy is rambling at me about how he lights mics on fire.
I suddenly understand why old people hate rap.
The ? is the block that Mario hits to get a power up mushroom.
This song makes me want to play Sonic Adventure DX for some reason.
I dunno why but this album's made me got video games on the mind like I'm an inside out virtual reality goggle.
This song's pretty cool, but it's also not about anything.
Dat's Dat Shit
Dat's dat shit. Dat shitty shit that smells shitty. Dat's dat Dat Phan shit, so when dat shit hits the fan, dat's dat shit.
No, that isn't a lyric from the song. It's just what I expected to hear.
The beat has a girl going "ohh-woah" on loop and it's giving me a fucking headache.
Why wouldn't you just have it during the chorus? It's through the WHOLE SONG.
This just isn't good.
It's so weird to me that people say that this album can't be topped. I feel like they could crank out one of these a week, every week, for the rest of their lives. This is garbage.
Fire Ina Hole
This song is fire in a hole, meaning it's giving me a stomach ache. It grew on me the longer it went but I'm---
Wait, Redman just made a WCW reference. Nevermind. This song is amazing.
Well All Right Cha
Aren't albums supposed to have breakout tracks? This album doesn't have any. They all mostly sound the same, and the ones that don't sound different in a negative way. I don't understand why people think that rap music should be exclusively about "the fkn bars yo." Maybe they're saying words that rhyme, but they're not saying sentences that make sense. The beats are uninspired and the way the titles are spelled out makes me want to throw a steel butt plug into the producer's eye.
This song is about Roman Reigns.
All of a sudden they make a real song? 18 tracks of mediocrity and you actually hit a song that has some sort of substance? I mean, this song fucking sucks but it's the best fucking song on the album for sure.
How high do you have to be to listen to this shit?