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Blackout!

avatarmajintween

Music :: Album Analysis :: Date: July 25th, 2019

Written by: Majin Tween

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Blackout, mothafucka!

This is gangsta shit, yo! Word up!

This album is cool right from the get-go just on the package alone. The plastic of the CD case itself is black! And so are the rappers!

I forgot there were black rappers!

The CD opens with spraypaint noises, followed by Redman inquiring if his friend Method Man would like to get high. Method Man says "does Pinocchio have wooden balls?"

drgirlfriend
Dr. Girlfriend: Did Japedo carve out his wooden boy penis? His name does end in "pedo", after all.
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The title song doesn't seem to actually be about anything, but the implication seems to be that the listeners will be so high that they won't care or notice.

It's got a good beat and their voices sound good, but they're not saying shit. I think I'm about to have a fucking blackout if this is how the whole album is gonna be.

Also, I think Method Man just said his shit stinks. I don't know. I was watching American Gladiators and barely paying attention.

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Doc load up the cartridge and start kicking game like Acclaim

Well, hopefully your game's better than ECW Hardcore Revolution.

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Because yikes on a clit that shit sucks dick.

Its a cold world. Better pack your own heat.

That's why I brought a blankie!

Every time I turn around somebody in my business.

Well maybe if you stopped talking about your wife Kim and your daughter Halie---

Wait. Wrong black guy. Sorry.

Dirty Dick niggas look suspicious. Ain't physically fit for the fitness. Welcome to the game of death, polly wanna biscuit? First prize, a one way ticket to my shit list. And I spread it like a rumor or a sickness. Stand-by let a chicken head lay a chicklet. Can I slap a fat ass with the quickness?

Okay, I just need to point out that not one word of that actually means anything.

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This entire song is just "you a bitch." That's it. I'm starting to think that these guys should have just stuck to making movies about smoking weed because this album, so far, is my entire ass.

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I like when you can tell that a rapper is about to say the sacred N slur because he's been saying forty six words that rhyme with it.

Yo, yo Funk Doc straight lunatic since young. I ate paint chips the rare moon. That pair mics, my maintenance.

...did this dude have a fucking stroke? What the fuck does any of that mean? "I ate paint chips the rare moon"? That's not a fucking sentence. That's just a bunch of random words thrown together. Is Redman fucking retarded?

I'm the sultan of the ghetto. The homicidal aficionado. I empty niggas out like Cristal bottles.

Does that mean you suck a fellas pecka until his soul leaves his body like those anti-smoking commercials?

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...God. Rap is terrible. Like, I like the beats but they're always just like

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I liken making fun of children's cartoons from the 1980s to murdering people, so I relate heavily to the track Cereal Killer.

I mean, the song's not that great but it's at least fucking about something. So I rank it as the best one.

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It's cool to write "the" like "da." It's appropriate because anyone who actually believes that frequently just sits there, drooling, going "Duhhhhh."

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This song is short and hard like a perverted Asian dude.

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Apparently, if I don't tear the roof off I am going to run the risk of being shot in the upper left tit. That sucks, but I'm not the Incredible Hulk so I don't really have the strength to tear entire roofs off of buildings. Maybe I could get Jenny McCarthy to give me a vaccination and bless me with retard strength.

Yo, flipmode, toilet bowls explode when Doc come drop a shit load.

Lovely.

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This song is about The Count from Sesame Street in his old age when he develops dementia. "One! Two! Uh... One... Two... Who are you?"

Also, this song's intro welcomed me to "side B" of "the Blackout tape." I'm listening to the CD.

Good work.

It's cool of them to rap over a PS2 tennis game main menu instrumental for Maaad Crew, but this song is the musical equivelant of two dicks and a single ball hanging off a woman's crotch. It's a slight change from what we've seen so far but it doesn't do anything useful. And the chorus is atrocious.

Aren't albums supposed to have breakout tracks? This album doesn't have any. They all mostly sound the same, and the ones that don't sound different in a negative way. I don't understand why people think that rap music should be exclusively about "the fkn bars yo." Maybe they're saying words that rhyme, but they're not saying sentences that make sense. The beats are uninspired and the way the titles are spelled out makes me want to throw a steel butt plug into the producer's eye.

This album made me realize why old people hate rap.