Written by: Majin Tween
Chill out. What you readin' for?
Yeah. Avril Lavigne is just a bit a l t e r n a t i v e. She might even wear pants and a necktie. Deal with it, bitch.
The video opens with Avril shredding on a skateboard... or at least, riding it for 1.5 seconds before hopping off and saying "Sup boys?"
She asks her homies if they want to "crash the mall." The boy doesn't really like... answer. He just goes "niiiiiice" and they bolt out.
As they arrive to destroy the mall, they are offered tater tots by an employee. This is like when John Lennon signed an autograph for his killer. This poor fuck doesn't realize that he's about to get his tater tot'd.
Worse than that, he's dressed like a weiner. I mean, fuck. That's brutal. He might as well be dressed like the cock that's going to be shoved in his ass by these ruffians.
They throw the tots in this guy's face, throw him to the ground and kick the shit out of him.
That is horrible. The mental scars this poor man must have...
...what if this is the Joker's origin story?
All it takes is one bad day.
What a complicated tale.
Chill out. What you yellin' for?
Dude. You mugged a minimum wage-making man dressed like a hotdog for the lulz. That's what I'm yellin' for.
Lay back. It's all been done before.
I have ever seen anyone randomly mug and attack a man dressed like a hotdog, you psychotic lying bitch.
Then she just starts mime-shitting in a sporting goods store.
I am so lost right now.
Then she starts fishing and catches Fred Durst.
Like a chump (heyyy). Like a chump (heyyy). Like a chump (heyyy).
Then they just start fucking with this mafia boss's jewelry.
Do you have a fucking death wish? This man knows where Jimmy Hoffa's body is. Look at this motherfucker. I wouldn't even talk to him, let alone fuck with him.
Then she punches a mannequin in the face at full force like Little Mac from Punch Out.
But then, shit goes even more batshit. Yes, more batshit than the randomxD that has been presented. Because now, Avril has super powers.
Like The Amazing Spider-Man scene, Avril shows that she is the Queen of Balls and does a frontflip 450 into a slam dunk. SHE FRONT FLIPS INTO A FUCKING BASKETBALL HOOP. Like, holy fuck. Why wasn't the Space Jam reboot just Avril Lavigne and the characters from Digimon? The song belts out "promise me I'll never find you fake it." Like, who the fuck do you think you are? You just did the fakest shit I've ever seen.
She then proceeds to jump scare some old lady like Slenderman, probably making her shit a pint of diarrhea into her Depends.
What the fuck is this chick's damage?
Security begins (justifiably) chasing them out of the mall. These people should be in prison.
They apparently got away from the mall security though, because Avril finds herself in another store putting on deoderant she didn't pay for.
That's a fucking biohazard. And this chick next to her is fucking repulsed (as she should be).
But despite all this bizarre behavior, this nonsensical music video. The cultural impact of this song was huge. Dare I say that this song changed me? I think it did. You see, my life was complicated. And it wasn't until Avril Lavigne showed up questioning this whole social construct we find ourselves in that I realized... why? Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated!?