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Cruella de Vil


Date: June 9th, 2019

Written by: Majin Tween

Every time I see something relating to 101 Dalmations, I'm reminded of when my mom flipped out because 102 Dalmations was coming out and it enraged her because "it's only supposed to be 101!"

She's seriously was going off on this bizarre tirade about how it's supposed to be 101 Dalmations and that adding one just fucks everything up. Thank God I didn't inherit the "bizarre tangents" gene from her.


For some reason, this entire music video, that's about the evil bitch named Cruella De Vil, has Selena Gomez flaunting around in front of cameras acting cute. She's on a runway, she's on a set. Shouldn't she be dressed up like Cruella De Vil? She should be skinning puppies alive and eating their innards. Not acting cute, damn it!

I mean, she could totally do both. I'm not the boss of her or anything.


This song is pretty dope and rockin', but it's about some fictional whore. I'd like it better if it was just about generalized evil deeds. That's the shit I relate to. Like when I made the fat girl at work pick up a turd with her bare hands..

She oughta be locked up and never released.

Honestly? Same.

I'm not even joking about that. A woman tried to take a shit in the garbage can, but it rolled off onto the floor.

I know that sounds like something I made up but it's not. A human being did this in my life and I was confronted by it. And I didn't do the right thing. Because doing the right thing is for nerds.

Speaking of dogs, I think I saw a girl I knew in high school getting fucked by one on the internet once but I never confronted her about it. I should have. If she's willing to fuck a dog, she probably could have been my girlfriend. I mean, I don't know if she was into chicks but if you're willing to fuck a dog then a soft skinned goth chick is probably a more desirable choice.

I could pull off the dog look.


This song rules.