Written by: Majin Tween
Dude. The songs on this new Tool album are longer than Blackzilla's cock. This is fucking madness.
I'm just listening to bells dinging nonstop. It's like Christmas except depressing. Do you realize how much nicotine I'm on right now? I can't handle this.
Some of this shit sounds like Spyro the Dragon ambience, which rules. I want to fire up my PS1 and roll a doobie.
Even new rock music is slow. This is like the Vicodin Age. Whatever happened to spazzing out and throwing light bulbs at children? Is that no longer the cool thing to do?
The second track is called Pneuma, which means "breath", which means that this is 20 straight minutes of songs about breathing.
I'm a big fan of breathing, I just don't like when other people do it.
I keep expecting this song to break into Lose Yourself at the slow parts.
The third track, Invincible, is not to be confused with Disturbed's.
Tool fans are bizarre. I'm looking at the comments on their music and they're all like, praising each other and emotionally hugging each other and shit. I'm not used to seeing people embrace each other and appreciate the work of musicians. It's creeping me out. Top comment on this song is "Guys, it's a pleasure to be here listening this with all of you."
There's no way people are like this, right? Am I such a bitter misanthropist that I can't even handle seeing human beings acting intelligent and happy? Am I wrong that I don't believe it?
I mean, all these songs are in the same vain. There's not a lot to say here, so I'm not gonna bother reviewing the rest of the tracks. As an album it's really good, I do recommend it. It's easily one of the best new albums I've heard in a long time. But that's not a hard competition to win. Music is suffering right now big time. I'm not even a huge Tool fan, but I knew they'd deliver something more akin to what readers of Human Raccoon are into and I wanted to take a look at it for that reason. I say it's a great album and you should buy it if you're into semi-mellow rock.