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Music :: Music Video Mucus :: Date: June 9th, 2019

Written by: Majin Tween


I don't like modern music. It's fucking boring. A bunch of digital queefs comprising the instrumental while some girl moans over the lyrics and then some guy goes "WOOO--OOAHHH0-OHOHHOHHH -HOH." It's hot garbage.

That being said, Ariana Grande has a song called Focus that I actally like... and I especially love the video. Like, this girl is stupid cute. She's totally the type of girl who wouldn't even flinch if I got hit by a bus covered in barbed wire at full speed but those are the kinds of girls I like.

I only discovered this music video like a year ago. Apparently it came out in like 2015 and it has 835 million motherfucking views. It just didn't pass my radar, I guess.

By the way: if you forgot where you put food when you're eating it, here's a reminder:


Lucky you. I frequently show up places and realize that I forgot what I came to do.

You're a step above me, Areola Granola.


...crouching in a tunnel?

Whatever, I guess.


And hey, if you think this music video is fun and cute just remember that there's some ghoulish jewish dude on the other side of that camera who's probably fingering Ariana Grande without her consent behind the scenes.

It happened to Corey Feldman.

...I mean, not on the set of this video but---

Oh nevermind.


It frustrates me every time I look at a cute girl because I know they're dating some funky chud of a guy that isn't worthy of his own hand, let alone a beautiful girl like this.

Not that I'd want to date Ariana Grande. I cannot imagine what kinds of horridly dumb bullshit is clanking around in her head.