Date: February 13th, 2020
Written by: Majin Tween
The world is pretty cool sometimes. You see, despite the fact that most people are fat assholes who smell like used tires, once in a while something crops up that makes me feel good inside. Today's good thing? A music genre called Lingeriecore.
Yes, I made that up.
We open in the Moulin Rouge, where a gaggle of singing whores are lounging around looking like literally every person should look period.
Mia is the first girl to pipe up with some shit to say, recounting the story about how a man met a hooker walking down the street and popping her buttcheeks out. That was her thot process.
Then they, uh... "gitchie gitchie ya ya da da", which I guess means "sixty-nine'd until her pubic hair grew back."
Then Pink shows up looking pretty damn good, which fucks me up because I didn't even realize she knew she was female. But then Lil' Kim shows up and starts throwing out gangsta raps about wearing lingerie and being a gold digging whore. I like the cut of her jib. But it's really aggressive. I feel like she's powerfucking my ears with a big futa dick.
It kinda rules.
Then the song breaks down and the Whore Trio summons the ancient beast Christina Aguilera, who attemps to shatter glass with her note holding.
This song and video are tremendous and should inspire you to dress better.
I mean, for fuck sake. Look at Pink's stomach.
I want to eat chicken nuggets off that shit and fill her belly button with honey mustard for easy dip'ems.