Mother's Daughter

Date: November 19th, 2021

Alright. Look. I'm no social justice warrior. I don't know about all this gender this, racial that. But then Miley Cyrus had to come along in a red latex catsuit and say "hey! I'm hot!" and I was like "yeah. You right."

So let me get one thing perfectly clear here: I love this video. Mostly. I wish it was only Miley writhing around in latex and being a cutie patootie. But of course that's not the case, because God is dead and we killed him. Instead, we've got Miley being hot spliced in with a bunch of cringe horsehockey. It's pissing me off.

This song is called Mother's Daughter, and it's a staple of humanRaCcoOn lore. It was in the first mixtape I ever put out (which found it's way onto raCcoOnTV in episode 3), got remixed in episode 33 and has been featured on radioRaCcoOn. I don't really relate to the song since I'm not my mother's daughter, but it's a vibe and a half, man.

Anyway. Let's start cringing.

First of all: she's got teeth on her vagina.

That's scary!

Then you got this guy:

I don't even know what the fuck is going on here. Nice schizo makeup, dipshit. Nobody likes the smeared look. Gain some self awareness, you creep.

Pot. Kettle.

Socks. Pepsi. Look, I can say random words too.

You've got eyeliner running down your face at all hours of the day.

Not by choice! I put it on normal and then I start laughing at my own jokes and it just happens like that.

I hate it when symbiotic yellow demons call you a hypocrite on your own webzine. This is bullshit.

They got pics of some girl in a wheelchair with a stupid haircut. That's stupid. I have a vendetta against people in wheelchairs, ever since my former friend of several years who makes wrestling music videos and happens to be in a wheelchair tried to get his followers on Twitter to lynch me for being a fan of Darby Allin due to allegations from a bipolar ex-girlfriend that carried no weight. But hey man. He got to be on Botchamania recently! That's cool. I've been on Botchamania too, except none of my contributions were credited.

Plus there was this kid on crutches who I used to help carry his lunch tray every day in 5th grade and he turned on me to impress the preppy chicks who wore Aeropostale shirts and pissed me off.

Anyway. This music video would have been awesome if it were just Miley flexing the glory that is latex fashion. I truly believe we would have flying cars and world peace if everyone stopped caring about dumb shit and started dressing like we live in a cyberpunk BDSM utopia. But that's just me. I'm smart as fuck and think correct things.

It's why I get so mad when I see girls just wearing gym clothes around. You don't need to go to the gym. Look at me. I don't work out and I've got a physique most twelve year olds would die for. Stupid assholes. Listen to me. Let me be president of the universe and make all the rules and stuff. I'm getting pissed.