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Rock 'n' Roll

avatarraccoon

Date: March 9th, 2020

Written by: Majin Tween

OH. MY NEW SONY PHONE IS RINGING.

I love Avril Lavigne. She is the cutest bitch ever. In fact, I will behead anyone who speaks negatively about her in any context. She is an absolute treat.

This video for her song Rock 'n' Roll starts out with her explaining that he was a boy and she was a girl. I don't really relate to the messages in her Sk8r Boi song, as the only two genders I care about are girls and women. But I respect whatever she wants to do because she's literally perfect.

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But fudge that. We're heading into the desert, where Avril is dressed like she's in the army! Ooooo!

I don't care about my makeup, I like it better with my jeans all ripped up.

You don't care about your makeup? Then why are you wearing ten pounds of it?

Don't know how to keep my mouth shut.

So what?

You say, "so what?"

...well fuck, you got me there.

I don't care if I'm a misfit. I like it better than the hipster bullshit.

You know what? Same.

This is what I love about Avril. She sings about real shit. Shit I can relate to.

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There's some sort of evil being trying to destroy rock 'n' roll, apparently. It's odd that this is being expressed in this upbeat pop song, but I dig it. Let's save rock and roll from these Billie Eilish cumloads that are washing over the face of the industry! Taylor Swift's stranglehold on my life will be destroyed!

Seeing Winnie Cooper in this video makes me want to watch Sidekicks... and also track her down on Twitter and hit on her until she blocks me.

Unfortunately, things don't go so great for WinCoop. They let a dog drive their car and he drove straight into a tree and died like Randy Savage.

Avril and WinCoop cry over his death, but then it leads to them making out... for once, I'm not kidding.

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This is incredible. This is the only relationship I care about now. I want these two kids to make it... and cuddle.

After a sick guitar riff, Avril starts fighting... a fucking Bearshark...

Okay. I give up. How the fuck am I supposed to say anything more ridiculous than what's going on in this video? I can't even come up with a funny scenario to manipulate here. This is some shit. I give up. I'm done. Goodbye. Avril Lavigne rules. I'm gonna go throw up.