Rock & Roll

Date: July 25th, 2021

Welcome to humanRaCcoON: where we put the :// in https://

I think I stole that joke. I might have. I dunno.

When you think of rock 'n' roll, who do you think of?

Joan Jett?

Good joke.

Idiot.

You should be thinking about Avril Lavigne: the last soldier in the war of Rock vs. Granolacore.

I would die in Iraq if Avril Lavigne told me to.

OH. MY SONY PHONE IS RINGING.

I just realized this video has 109 million views. She's almost as popular as I am. Crazy.

I don't care about my makeup.

...why not? It's perfect! Love yourself. I love you.

I like it better with my jeans all ripped up.

But... you're not wearing jeans. You're wearing a camoflauge skirt... wait, is the camoflauge because your jeans are disguised!?

OR WAIT. NO. Your jeans are SO ripped up we can't see them. Holy shit. You're a genius. Girlboss.

Don't know how to keep my mouth shut.

Dude same.

So there's like this evil iguana dude or whatever who wants to destroy rock 'n' roll. An agent of The Salesman, no doubt.

I don't care if I'm a misfit: I like it better than the hipster bullshit.

Damn. You can't just call Billie Eilish out like that! She's super edgy and not at all a corporately manufactugreen cumsock who wouldn't know musical energy if it was injected into her Chernobylcore eyelids.

Ah, sorry to point that out. Does that make me the bad guy?

You still love it.

Holy fuck! Winnie the Coop is all up in this bitch!

And her and Avril are in love.

This is the most beautiful story ever told in media. Ever. Fuck right off out of my face if this isn't the cutest shit you've ever seen. You're wrong. I hate you. I swear to God I hate you... oh my God I love you. HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!? HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU DO THIS TO MEEEEEEEEE!?