Walk This Way
Written by: Majin Tween
There's a lot of hate in the world today. That's why I have come here to single handedly solve racism by reviewing the Aerosmith/Run DMC crossover jam "Walk This Way."
For those of you in wheelchairs, feel free to roll this way.
We open with Aerosmith jamming loudly, disturbing Run DMC who is in the next room. Aerosmith oughta change their name to White Devil. These fuckers are being oppressive.
But then... records start scratching. Shit's getting funky.
Right as Steven Tyler is about to rock the fuck out, one of the Run DMC boys starts rapping. I'm not sure if it's D, M or C but he's bumping some fawkin' bars, bro.
Backstroke lover. Always hidin' underneath the covers, 'til I talked to your daddy, he say "You ain't seen nothin', 'til you're down on a muffin, then you're sure to be a-changin' your ways."
...what in the fuck are you talking about? So... you were eating out your girlfriend, you stopped to address her father, who was seemingly in the room... and then he gave you life advice? What in the hell kind of life do you have?
I met a cheerleader, she was a real young bleeder. Oh, the times I could reminisce."
No. Seriously. What in the absolute FUCK are you talking about? A cheerleader... was getting her periods at a really young age... but you fucked her? That's illegal, my guy. You can't just walk around fucking underage cheerleaders. Not cool.
Seriously. This is the entire song. I'm not going to hit it lyric for lyric. I'm not going to be like a YouTube reactor, slapping the keyboard every ten seconds and screaming "BRUH. DIS MAN JUST SAID---." But seriously. The song that ended racism was about pedophilia.
That's what fucking united Aerosmith and Run DMC? Middle school cheerleaders? Seriously. This supergroup was formed over a love of lolis. They break the wall down and start jamming with each other to this shit. It's fucking bonkers. You gotta be shitting me.
Steven Tyler looks like an Aeon Flux character.
Aerosmith is the Tim Allen of music. They always crush it in everything they do. They're fucking great. But nobody ever talks about it. They're nobody's favorite band, yet everyone loves them. It's bizarre. Everyone knows that Home Improvement was a great show, The Santa Clause was a great movie, and so was Galaxy Quest. He was fucking Buzz Lightyear. Yet you people don't pay him the proper fucking respects and it's starting to piss me off.
I need a Tim Allen t-shirt.