TikTok

Date: August 27th, 2021

I don't get TikTok. Like, every stupid social media site I've ever witnessed at least had something about it that I could look at and go "oh, okay. I see why people are batty for this. Not my vibe but I get it."

But TikTok is scraping the bottom of the piss barrel for any fragment of bladder juice you can find. Even Vine was better. At least it had people making skits and shit. Every Vine I've ever seen is just some chick with the personality of a wet raisin either lip synching to a song or just like bouncing around or whatever. It's the most self-indulgent, annoying horse shit ever. I cannot believe what you people have allowed the culture to become.

We're at the point where Michael Alig's Club Kids can't even be retroactively appreciated because there's no longer any irony to it. Everyone is legitimately that up-their-own-ass. Everyone just wants attention, to have people stare at them and hit that little heart button for their dopamine cracker of validation. It's pathetic.

There's an entire generation of young people coming up who aren't going to know what to do once old age kicks in and they start looking like crusty fucks. Their entire worth has been wrapped up in this Instagram-esque glamour vision that is honestly so toxic I'm pretty sure Britney Spears is gonna write a song about it.

There's no reason to seek validation from people online. It's like turning on Grand Theft Auto and trying to befriend an NPC.

And if you don't like hearing someone call regular people NPCs, it's probably because you're an NPC and you're offended.

brb burning my entire video chaos catalogue, deleting all my articles and focusing exclusively on being a cringeworthy attention whore.