R.I.P. Norm Macdonald

Date Posted: September 14th, 2021

I love Norm Macdonald.

Which sucks, because he's dead now.

Well I mean it's kinda sad. I dunno. He'll probably be alright.

Apparently he had been battling cancer for nine years, which is crazy to me because he looked like the perfect image of health. Except for the massive weight gain, withdrawal from the media spotlight and getting winded just by talking.

Can you imagine how heavy his casket's gonna be? About as heavy as my heart right now, I say.

Now, I know what you're thinking. "He was the voice of the Grim Reaper on Family Guy. That's a smidge ironic." And yes, it's true. It's more than a smidge ironic. The Grim Reaper is the guy people think about when they think about death. In fact, his name is Death. What a wacky, twisted turn of events. But to be fair, the voice of that character was later taken over by Adam Carolla, so hopefully Adam dies next.

All kidding aside, dying is a tragedy. Like, the amount of people who have aimed shotguns at their own head is mind blowing. I'm trying to think of some cancer jokes. I just need two more. (Get it? Tumor? Ah... nevermind.)

I always wanted to follow the same career path as Norm. He was on SNL, I wanted to audition for All That but my grandma wouldn't let me. He got really fat toward the end of his life, I'm stuffing my face with oatmeal creme pies right now and I'm probably going to kill myself later.

It's like a poem. It rhymes.

*tapping keyboarsdtlkja* Is this thing on?

It's crazy that a guy named Norm was anything but!

Am I right, folks?

Anyway, seriously. I'm going to go fucking kill myself now.

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