The Zodiac Killer

Date Posted: October 6th, 2021

It seems as though we may know who the Zodiac Killer was, boys and girls!

That's ri--- shut the fuck up. It's not Ted Cruz. That joke doesn't even make sense.

Anyway. For those of you who don't know about the Zodiac Killer, he was this silly boy who would murder people in cold blood and then send cryptic letters to police stations and force them to publish them or else "I'll kill more people. Like, a lot. Totally. I mean it, guys. >:("

Guy was a nerd. Totally into puzzles and shit. Killing people. Total beta behavior. Dude probably never even saw a girl naked outside of a magazine. But killing people made him feel like his penis was super big and powerful and stuff for whatever reason.

I don't get it. It's much more fun to stay at home, make a warm cup of coffee and watch Full House. What's all this murder business? Killin' people and such? What are ya, some kinda jerk!?

You shouldn't kill people. It's rude. But this guy didn't listen, and now three years after his death (apparently) they finally figured out who he was after decades of him getting to just roam free with the internal-legacy he had built.)

Somebody on the computer also pointed out that he would have been alive to see movies made about him, as well as the cultural fetishism of what he accomoplished during his murderer tenure. I'm just surprised he didn't sue some of these Etsy people for putting his image on trading cards and merchandise.

But seriously. This dude lived the Hannah Montana double life. So on that end? Kinda cool.

Alright, fuck it. Murder rules. Do what you gotta do.