Date: June 30th, 1998

Do you have a definitive first memory? I do! And this isn't a public forum, dickhead. This is MY story. I'M the main character of this anime. And that's why it FUCKIN' SUCKS.

Anyway. First memory was when I awoke in my bed with one thought in my head:

A thot having thoughts?


Anyway. It was 1998, and I woke up with amnesia. Not the video game. The mental problem. Maybe I was a victim of MKUltra. Or MK&A Ultra! (that's reverse brainwashing intended to make you a better person headed up by Mary-Kate and Ashley.)

I asked my mom and grandma, "who the fuck is you!?" like in 8 Mile but without the word I'll get beat up for saying. I didn't say the fuck word. I had to learn it like five minutes later when my mom inevitably slipped it into casual conversation like I would the word like. So like, it was weird. I had to basically remeet (reeeee meat!!! That's a vegeterian seeing a hamburger in the wild.) my family since I didn't know who any of them were. Which kinda rules ass.

It's stories like this that make my life sound like super cringey fan-fiction. But little do you fuckers know, it's actually super cringey fan-FACT! I'm the genuine article. I'm a tough customer. I'm spunky with a can-do attitude, you dumb motherfucker.

Do demons fuck? I know succubi are considered demons I think. I don't know for sure. But I sure acted like I did.

Do you believe everything you read?