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Date: October 31st, 2019

A few months ago, the File City Maid Cafe hired a fat smelly idiot. I call her Ratface. I've wanted to write about her for a while, but I was waiting for her story to conclude in my life before I did, but unfortunately she's like a little nuggety turd floating in the bottom of the bowl that doesn't flush no matter how hard you try.

The first time I worked with this pathetic waste of flesh was amazing to me. I had to close down the entire restaurant with her and she didn't do fucking anything.


I mean that. Here is every fucking shift she works: she shows up, walks around for a minute or two, doesn't take anyone's orders in the lobby, says "I'm gonna step outside", vapes for 10 minutes, comes inside, video-chats with people on her cell phone, goes back outside, vapes more, comes in, calls someone on the phone, rinse, repeat. That's it. That is all this fucking cow has ever done for her entire tenure here.

The manager hates her. Everyone who works here hates her. I continually ask the manager, the Chihuablin, why she's not fired yet. She's always like "...shoot, I could've fired her months ago..." I stared at her stunned and I said "...could you hurry that up?"

I got docked shifts because of this cunt. Why? Because she told everyone else that I wasn't doing anything. That it was all her. It took me TWO MONTHS to gain my respect back when everyone discovered she was a fat, lying bitch. How the fuck does she still have a job? I have no idea.

They found out, on several occasions, that she was looking for a different job while she was there so she could abandon them without warning and the only reason she DIDN'T abandon them was because she couldn't secure the jobs. The owners felt betrayed and STILL won't do anything. Does she have naked photos of them? How the fuck does this worthless bag of shit still have a job?

They fired a black girl recently for WAY LESS. She called out a few times. Meanwhile you've got this other fat bitch who calls out every other day and they made her assistant manager. For fuck sake, they white out my days on the schedule and give them to her despite the fact that I work harder, because I had the nerve to stand up for myself when THREE OF MY CHECKS WOULDN'T CLEAR and the owner refused to pay me. He still resents me for that and doesn't give a fuck that I work harder than anyone there. I work every position in this bitch. I will take a motherfucker's order, go into the kitchen, make the shit, bring it out to them, rinse, repeat all night and clean the entire restaurant BY MYSELF because they keep pairing me with this fat whore who doesn't do shit and then they'll call and yell at me because "it shouldn't take you two more than an hour to get everything cleaned up."

When I tell them that this lazy cunt doesn't do anything, I'm told it's my responsibilty to make her do stuff. I'm supposed to babysit a mother of three ugly little children and get blamed when she won't do her job. What the fuck bizarro world is this?

She's a two-faced bitch. She'll act like your best friend to your face and then try to set you on fire the second you're not around. I had to stop her from getting someone's car towed once. Their car was broken down in our parking lot and they couldn't get it running. She's like "if they leave that car here overnight I'm calling a tow truck." Baffled, I said "...why?" She goes "THEY CAN'T LEAVE THAT HERE!" I said " this your fucking parking lot? Who gives a fuck? Let them be."

She got super fucking pissy with me about it. Like I'm wrong for not making people's problems worse.

They started cutting back everyone's hours to save money, which sent her into a panic attack because she's now only working two days a week for like five hours at a time. She was whining and said "I can't afford to lose my hours!" I said "Neither can I, yet here we are." She goes "Yes you can! You don't have three kids!" Annoyed, I spat back "Yeah, well, nobody made you fuck. That's your own fault. I shouldn't be penalized for keeping my legs shut."

She laughed.

I wasn't joking.


Callout Girl, the girl she thinks is like her best friend ever, was talking maaaad shit on her before her shift the other day. The Chihuablin says they're looking to hire someone new to replace her, but that's horse shit. These people hate hiring new employees. They want to run the place on a skeleton crew. But I held onto that nugget.

Like I said, Callout Girl was belittling the fuck out of her and telling me how "Ratface keeps text messaging me about her sex life. She was complaining that her boyfriend doesn't suck her nipples."

And I'm like... why? Why would you make me imagine this fat, nasty whore getting her nipples sucked by her crusty ass boyfriend? That's so fucking gross. I wanted to vomit right there. But then fat bitch shows up and they hug each other and bond their hideous odors together, acting like they love each other. It made me sick. Both of them. At least tell someone you hate them to their face.

So while I was taking people's orders, Ratface tried to get me in trouble by telling the owners I had been "stealing spinach."

We're allowed to eat food there. We get a free meal during our shifts. I had chosen to snack on some spinach that I was dipping in ranch dressing. It's allowed. But all of a sudden I'm getting confronted by the owner's wife, who's acting like I'm pocketing $20 bills from the register. It really fucking irritates me because the rules are always changing in this place, and I never want to take something that I'm not allowed to have. I've walked around eating cups of various vegetables and never had it be a problem, but today this Alzheimers patient decided that it's a problem now.

The owners left, and Ratface was acting like nothing happened. She was being all friendly and shit. I was irritated on principal. Like, fuck you. I'm sick of this shit. This two faced nonsense. The shifting line of what we're allowed to do. I decided, fuck this. I'm going to pull the trigger. My final weapon to get this bitch out of my life.

She was talking about how everyone who works here loves her, and I snapped back and said "That's not true. Everyone here hates you. The manager says once they find someone new they're going to fire you."

She was slammed by this pretty hard. I watched the look of shock and realization melt over and her eyes welled up with tears. She said "I can't owe back child support! I can't lose my job!" She even stormed out the back door for a while. I actually thought she quit. I was ecstatic. I thought I won.

So naturally, I kept going. I said "Well, the Chihuablin says it's because you don't do anything." She cried "I DO THOUGH!"

She started listing off all the things in the diner that were done at that moment, and I dryly said "I've been here since 10am and I did all those things. You didn't."

She stammered and changed the subject. "Who else was talking about me?"

I said "The girl you hugged on your way in was telling me about your sex problems and laughing about them. She called you Sucky Nips."

She started boiling with rage, but she touched my arm (which made me dart back slightly because I didn't want this wart infested goblin touching me) and said "thank you so much for telling me that." I said "I hate two faced catty bitch shit. You had a right to know."

She headed into the back, called the Chihuablin and begged her not to fire her. The Chihuablin sighed and said "just work harder."

It's been two weeks. She does slightly more but she still sucks. She still walks in hugging Callout Girl like they're friends, and it's like nothing ever happened.

I'm stunned. I've never had a problem that I couldn't solve. But I can't destroy this bitch. She's fucking untouchable. I have thrown her nametag in the garbage and they just gave her a new one without even making her pay for it. I tell them she doesn't do anything, they blame me. I attack her brain UNTIL SHE CRIES and she just comes back the next day like nothing happened. It's. Fucking. Insane. She truly is indestructable.


Today was her birthday. They got her a personalized birthday cake.

I've worked here for two years. I've had two birthdays here. I never once got a cake.

In fact, my last birthday I worked a 12 hour shift here, got hit on by a drunk redneck and got screamed at over the phone because we had to stay past 11pm to clean the place after a REALLY busy night. Nobody gave a fuck it was my birthday. Nobody said a word to me about it. I work my ass off and I get abused for it, while shitheads like this don't do a fucking thing and get favored. It makes me fucking sick. And I swear to God, the second I can leave this place I will.