That is the only word I can use to describe my feelings towards everything that has gone on not just today, but over the past 3 years.
There are so many stories of me being abused and treated unfairly by the management staff at the File City Maid Cafe. But the job was pretty easy overall, despite the fact that the place was constantly so busy you couldn't accomplish anything. Sure, I'd get stuck there hours past when I was supposed to leave... but it was money, you know? And it's not like I really cared about being abused or mistreated, as I've grown to be pretty used to it and I have a really good tolerance for stress.
But the management here has never liked me, if it wasn't obvious from every story about them ever told. I can't pinpoint why, and neither could anyone else I worked with. Everyone thought it was so bizarre, and I was often called "the hardest work here" by many different employees who have filtered through throughout the years.
Despite the fact that I have done crazy shit for these people. Work 13 hour shifts, come in with no warning because their assistant manager wouldn't stop calling out. Hell, I once worked 18 straight days in a row of closing the store, then opening, then closing, rinse and repeat. Then I got one day off, and I had to work another 11 straight days. The store was often highly understaffed and heavily relied on my willingness to work my ass off for minimum wage pay, just because I was so desperate to try to make enough money to survive I really didn't give a shit and I hilariously though I could somehow get a raise or something if I turned myself into their wageslave.
Unfortuantely for me, every time they've solved their understaffing problem, it's meant that I get my hours taken away and I struggle to even be able to pay my rent. This is what wound up happening again once they filled up their roster with people, so I was only working two four hour shifts every week. I haven't been making shit for money. Which is why I had to get a second job.
There's a boy who works here who has gotten into screaming matches with the management because of how they treat me, stating how unfair it is. Their response? They took away more of my hours and didn't touch his at all. The owner of the store even told another employee that I'm "lucky to still be here." When that employee asked why, he stammered and said that "I suck." but couldn't actually name a reason. He just doesn't want to like me, so he doesn't.
They gave that kid a $50 handwritten check the other day, and told him "...we wouldn't do this for everyone... but we like you, and we want you around. We don't feel that way about everyone here..." before looking over at me.
I realized that it didn't matter how hard I worked, they were never going to treat me fairly. So I said, fuck it, I'll get a second job. I had no choice. After three years of working for them, I needed the additional income.
I went through a war of phone tag with Fred Meyer's, trying to get a job there so I could quietly stock shelves and discretely work on Human Raccoon content and other projects. It seemed good, but I could not get any of the depressed employees there to genuinely patch me through to the manager even though it was confirmed that he would be there at a certain time. They just lied to me because they wanted to get off the phone, so employee laziness cost me that job.
But, something amazing happened: Chuck E. Cheese's called me at 3:15pm on the dot in response to the application I filled out. I went through the interview process, impressed the manager and got in the door. The job is super chill, everyone who works there is nice... but more importantly, they mind their own business and nobody gives a shit that I exist. It's phenomenal. This was PERFECT for a stress-free secondary job to help me pad out needing to pay my bills, rent, etc.
When the Chihuahua, who has been the manager for my entire tenure here, found out that I had gotten this new job, she called me and started freaking out about it. Probably because they randomly added a day to my schedule for the first time in months that happened to coincide with my first day at my new job, so I had to ask for that day off.
Keep in mind that this is only the fourth time in the three years I worked there that I ever called out. The first time I was "third shift" (which means I was just additional help for the night that they don't usually get anyway due to the owners being cheap), the second time was because I had gotten really sick out of nowhere and was afraid I'd get one of the hundreds of old people who come in sick. I didn't want to kill anyone.
And the fourth was this. Add the nearly-never calling out thing with the fact that I'd been called in countless times with absolutely no warning... yeah. I'm a pretty reliable employee.
I worked my second-day at my new job from 8am to 3pm (and didn't sleep beforehand), rushed home, took an hour nap and then rushed off to work at the Maid Cafe as I always did.
This is where I had a face-to-face talk with the Chihuahua, where I assured her it was only a secondary job and that I had no plans of leaving. She seemed so relieved, like she didn't want to lose me as an employee. It was kind of puzzling considering how I had been treated, but I thought "maybe this is the next step in them appreciating me." I foolishly thought more progress would have been made once they realized that their only reliable help didn't technically need them anymore. I was hoping it would give me just enough leverage to be treated with the same respect as every other person who works here.
You see, the store is falling apart. Their coffee machine just broke, their little 7/11 style doorbell sound thing doesn't work so you never actually know when people walk in unless you're watching the security monitor 24/7. And the big metal door for the walk-in refridgerator repeatedly came off the hinges.
That's what happened at the end of my shift last night. After working for nearly 14 hours straight, the metal door came off the hinges and I had to get the boy who was working in the back to help me hold it in place so we could get it screwed back in. But we did, and everything was fine. So we left.
Today, just two hours before I was supposed to go in for another routine night of closing their store, I got a phone call from the Chihuahua telling me they "saw the security camera footage of me ripping the door off the hinges" and that I'm fired.
Yes, I'm 5'5" and 140lbs. But somehow I ripped a door off the hinges like the Incredible Hulk... wait, I'm getting deja vu here.
As she accused me of somehow doing it on purpose, I sat in my chair at home with my (brand new!) phone pressed to my ear and I was absolutely baffled. Three years of loyalty, three years of abuse, three years of me breaking myself in half just to work my way up to being at least tolerated enough to keep my job. Gone. Over in an instant, because they wanted a scapegoat to get rid of me. It was obvious they were planning it based on some of the other details leading into this day, and the fact that yesterday was the end of the pay week. They just lucked out that something so dramatic happened that they could take out of context and blow out of proportion.
The best part? They don't realize they just fucked themselves. There are three different employees who have stated that if I ever got fired or quit, they would leave too. And they don't even KNOW that I've been fired yet. I'm sad I don't get a front row seat to watch the chaos unfold, but it is what it is.
So that's it. That era of my life is finished, right as things are really starting to grow here at Raccoon HQ. We just moved into a new house, this site is growing in new ways, I just got a functioning, modern cell phone for the first time in my life. I can't help but feel like this is what was supposed to happen.
So fuck it. I'm out of that abusive hell hole, so now I can focus all my energy on creating... so instead of actually doing that, I decided to get high and troll IMVU chatrooms with Dr. Girlfriend.