Trick or Treat

Posted: October 29th, 2021

It's the most unwatched show in wrestling! AEW Rampage!

I'm just kidding. Impact Wrestling still exists.

Bryan Danielson vs. Eddie Kingston

Eddie Kingston is dealing with depression, which apparently turns into anger after he takes a Benedryl or whatever. I dunno, wasn't really listening.

But Bryan Danielson doesn't feel any depression because he has a hot wife. (same.)

This fight is brutal. Bryan's chest looks like Vince McMahon's spray tan in 2007.

Eddie Kingston passed out with his head gently nestled against Bryan's penis, balls and penis.

Backstage, CM Punk is gonna ramble about enjoying Boston or whatever but Eddie screams at him and Punk tells him "I'm disappointed in you." and the crowd audibly frowns.

Matt Sydal vs. Dante Martin

Rev up that synthetic weed: it's Sydal time.

Dante Martin looks like an unevolved human clone. Gen Z people look so fucked up. Goddamn birth control pills in the water.

Xenomorph lookin' motherfucker.

Lil' Donnie Mart Mart wins the match because Lio Rush gave him some cough syrup mixed with Mike's Hard Lemonade.

Trick or Treat Match

Abadon vs. Dr. Britt Baker DMD

I love Abadon. I want her to be my friend. I would feed her Oreos.