The Nitro Girls

Posted: May 9th, 2022

We are watching the WWF Nitro Girls VHS tape, where we follow them to the beach where they get sand in their vaginas and talk about cock or whatever.

I support every woman in these kind of fields. To be able to have nearly zero thoughts in your head outside of trying to stay hot and not work? Fucking wonderful. Enviable, really.

They run through and introduce us to all the Nitro Girls, but they have no thoughts really to share. Except for Kimberly Page, the brain behind the operation, who talks about being super busy all the time. But fuck that. Butt fuck that. I want to look cute and dance around, but I unfortunately have self awareness and don't feel comfortable doing anything that isn't sitting in a chair and eating egg pizza wraps.

The tape is like, them in bikinis sloshing around in the water and making little flirty small talks with each other. It's so retarded that they're not having sex right now. I don't get it.

This seems entirely to jerk off to, but some of these chicks look so bored that... oh, who am I kidding. Straight men's number one pick up line is "hey, smell this rag."

A.C. Jazz seems like she hates photoshoots. Her face always just looks like "what am I doing with my life." I respect it. Nihilism is good. Don't waste time doing shit you like, focus on what you hate. Like how I'm focused on how much I hate Kathy Santoni.

God, Kathy Santoni is such a loser. Everyone thinks she's so great. She's really not.

Anyway, back to women who matter in life. The Nitro Girls make up some bullshit story about a VHS tape of Kimberly Page getting beefed by Diamond Dallas Page accidentally getting shown to a new choreographer instead of the VHS of them dancing. I promise you this never happened, but it let me stare at Kimberly Page's rib structure through her skin so that was fun.

I feel sexier having watched this. I'm gonna go out and wear a bikini and giggle like a retard at everything.