Date: August 13th, 2021

If Mary-Kate and Ashley are not your heroes, you're a fucking disgrace. Get off my lawn.

I don't just love these two magical bitches just because of their HIT MOVIES, or their PHENOMENAL STRAIGHT-TO-VHS SHOWS, or even their ESTEEMED MUSIC CAREER. But there's more to it than that. These two were essentially born into a legalized version of child slavery and got out of it.

You watch those old Full House episodes, while I love them, look at their eyes. They're constantly looking for parental validation off-stage. These two were household names before they could form memories. They had no choice in whether or not they wanted to be famous, because their shit-covered vulture of a mother was like "I had twins! God has given me a license to print money!" and she didn't give a fuck about either of them. They became a product. A very successful product.

I'm not gonna run down their entire history here. Eventually, everything they've ever done will be covered on humanRaCcoOn in some capacity or another. But the point is, the second they turned 18 years old they said "pffft. fuck this shit I'm out!" and retired from acting. No more DualStar.

While it makes me personally sad that we didn't get You're Invited To Mary-Kate and Ashley's Lingerie Pillow Fight or The Case of COVID-19, I'm extremely happy that they were able to get out of it.

But, normie society disagrees. Any time you see the Olsens pop up in the news, which is almost never necessary since they mind their own business and run their own business and aren't doing entertainmenty things anymore, holy shit. You read the comments on this shit? People are cruel.

Mocking their health, the fact that they've aged (omg they don't look like Michelle Tanner anymore!?) and other really cruel shit to say about people. Especially people you've never met and have never harmed anyone.

Mainstream entertainment has done an amazing job of making human society believe that if someone decides that the Hollywood feeder system is corrupt and evil and that they don't want to be part of it, that they are an enemy of the people. We've crafted a nation of sociopaths who are rewarded for their evil outlook with little dopamine crackers of paparazzi pictures and celebrity talk show interviews. A nation that values the entirely wrong type of person and pisses on anyone who dares try to to be better than awful.

I could rant about this for days, but I'm gonna cut myself off. The point is: Mary-Kate and Ashley took unfortunate circumstance of being thrust into the spotlight against their will and turned it into a fashion empire where they're not the centerpoint and they get to vibe in the dark. That's so cool. I love them.

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are better than nearly every person I've ever met.