Princess Peach

Date: November 17th, 2021

It's so weird to me that there are commercials for toilet paper. Who isn't buying it?

You know all that poop on your butt hole!? You can remove it!

By that point you'd need a chisel and a hammer to break it all off. It'd be like cleaning a fossil.

Anyway. Whenever I play any Mario Kart game, I always gotta play as Princess Peach.

Look at her, for fuck sake. She's so cute. This chick gets kidnapped every five seconds and she's still happy, vibing and beautiful. We could all learn a lesson from Princess Peach, ya fucks.

My love of Princess Peach tends to jar some people. I guess when you're a super hot goth icon like me, everyone's always like "holy shit bro you like pink thing? Are you a fake goth?" and the answer is yes. Yes I am. I look weird if I don't dress like a corpse. I wanna be Taylor Swift, but she's too busy using the skin suit. Pisses me off somethin' ridiculous.

Peach is my favorite. I love her so much.

I've got Princess Peach merch flowing like the river's water.

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Anyway. If you pick any character who isn't Princess Peach in Mario Kart, you're a stupid asshole.

...unless I'm playing with you. Then you let me be Peach. Your stupid ass can be Toad or somethin'.