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Date: May 12th, 2019

Written by: Majin Tween


Out on bail. Fresh outta jail. California Dreamin'.

The theme song to this show is amazing. The first time I ever heard of this show was on Nickelodeon's Figure It Out because Josh Server asked a grown ass teenage boy if he was "the star of my favorite show California Dreams."

The kid got all fucked up about it and clearly was not happy.


The first episode is basically about establishing all the characters. So let's run them down:

They're all fucking normies. Every single one. But, they're normies with a rock band called California Dreams. They're just a low-rent Zack Attack as far as I'm concerned.

They wind up getting a gig at some thing where they're gonna get paid $250. They run to tell their mom, who drops all the plates on the ground like a dumbass.

The Dad winds up getting tickets to go to the Grand Canyon with the whole family that conflicts with the concert. I don't understand why the fuck he would want to go to the Grand Canyon. What's the fucking point? "Wow! Look! It's so deep! Alright, let's go home." Who gives a fuck? Fuck the grand canyon.


In order to get rid of the tickets to the Grand Canyon, they orchestrate a scheme to have The Normies dress up as Van Halen and trick an Indian family into thinking they're the real thing. It works, even after Lead Normie rips the wig off and says he "can't do this." The indian dude just thought that "Van Halen wears a wig!" because he's a fucking nimrod.


I got massively confused because at the end of the episode they played the intro again before playing another scene... or at least some sort of music video. It sounded identical. I don't know if it was the same song or what. It probably doesn't help that I was stoned off some resin that got scraped out of an altoid container.

Then, in another episode, Lead Normie asks Token Black Normie if he wants a pearl necklace.




Token Black Normie's father thinks that he should abandon music to become a football player, because apparently that's where the real money is. Who gives a fuck if he compresses his spine?! It's all about FOOH-BAWWW!

But he winds up convincing him that one dream that's unlikely to come true is nothing compared to trying to enter the music industry.