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The Most Brainwashed a Woman Can Get

Date: March 16th, 2019

sarahsilvermangillette

Gillette razors just put out a commercial calling out "toxic masculinity."

Yes, in a time where everyone wants to jerk themselves off for calling out every possible social agenda under the sun because the clapping seals who populate the internet will praise them for it, your disposable razors are calling you a dickhead.

gillette01

Now, let me just say that I love men's razors. The razor blades they use for their face I use on my legs because they are left amazingly smooth afterwards. Men's razors are far more powerful than women's razors and they're less expensive. It's a win/win. And I even use Gillette! But the point isn't that I use the brand. Fuck the brand. I have no loyalty to corporations. I'd sooner burn them down than ever buy their razors again for absolutely no reason other than destroying a corporation. It would be satisfying. I'd feel like a Batman villain.

But I'm rambling. Let's look at the ad.

gillette02

A kid is being chased by a bunch of homosexuals who want to kiss him all over and convert him to their gay escapades. Toxic masculinity strikes again.

gillette03

He is then cyberbullied, and because he's a stupid millennial with a smartphone addiction he has no earthly idea that there's a "power" button on his phone that can make this go away.

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"It's okay. You don't have to stop using your iWiretap."
gillette05

LMFAO. "Everyone hates you!" That is brutal. Probably true too.

Someone staple a sack between this kid's legs because he needs one.

gillette06

So the echoing sentiment of this obnoxious commercial is "Boys will be boys? NO! NOT OKAY!" Which I agree with. We shouldn't excuse things like rape, sexual assault, molestation or non-consensual fingerbanging. But do we need to have this message preached by a company that screws metal blades into plastic and sells them at the grocery store?

gillette07

"Women." - probably all this chick has to say about anything ever.

They don't actually give a fuck. It's just marketing. Feminism is the big trend right now. It's like sticking smart phones in your commercial. People see it, they go "OOOOOO!" and buy into whatever you're selling.

gillette08
shirleymansongillette

Congratulations, Shirley Manson. You have successfully allowed a corporation to market to you and have you buy into it. Preachy bullshit is everywhere right now and there's a certain type of easily-led moron that believes in it. I love Garbage. They're one of my favorite bands. But you're a fucking moron. This is why I hate Twitter. I shouldn't know that people I'm a fan of are stupid. Only people in their real life should know that, and probably wouldn't anyway because they'd all agree with each other.

And of course, as with all things in this current-culture that the surface world fosters, disagreeing with the mass-opinion or not buying into social-justice fueled advertising means that you're a problematic shitlord.

gillette09

It's really disappointing to see how brainwashed a person can be. Especially these days. It's fucking brutal. Seeing through this transparency turns you into an alien and often times you'll be attacked for it like this dude was. He didn't word it very well but the point remains: he's not just gonna start buying a brand of razors because they shoehorned feminism into their marketing campaign. He's not wrong. Shirley Manson is.

...and besides. Haven't all these fucking feminists been going off about how body hair should be like mandated or whatever? Like, they get so pissed off when they see a chick like me shaving her legs or something and they get all fucked up about it. So what the fuck. Now all of a sudden they give a fuck about disposable razors? Like they're gonna start shaving their armpits and shit? I don't buy it. They're fucking pick-and-choosing their causes.

I am firmly anti-body hair. I don't give a fuck if I give myself razor burn. I'll shave over it and make it worse. I'm leading a crusade in the opposite direction. I believe we should force men to have to shave their bodies too. In fact... fuck Gillette and all these other razor corporations. Let's just release biochemicals into the air that singe the hair off. Just like, minor amounts of radiation that burn it all off and don't let it grow back. We ingest worse on a daily basis. You got people flushing their birth control pills down the toilet and then they wind up in our water and make everyone look like fucking mutants because millennials get all the estrogen-filled drugs in their system and then microwave everything they eat which activates the biochemicals and makes them look like plain-faced lizards. That shit ruined the whole Saved by the Bell Lifetime Movie.

millennialscreech