I'm There For You, Babe

Date: September 6th, 2021

Steffy doesn't want to play horsey with Michelle, because she's an uptight bitch. Fucking sick of her shit, personally.

Uncle Jesse is trying to sleep but Michelle starts cranking a jack in the box next to his head and wakes him up. Reminds me of a nightmare I had once where I was alone in a theater room and there was a big Jack in the Box that ejected a huge, human hand and pulled me inside and then I woke up. I told my stepdad about it and he said "that was me." and walked out of the room.

Then everyone bursts in and screams "YA SAY IT'S YA BIRTHDAY" and start viciously beating him to death with sticks and poking him with knives. He bleeds everywhere and cries. Happy birthday, you dumb bitch.

Jesse is slated to do everything in everyone's life. Soccer games, building go-karts, having sex with a pile of dead bugs. He's got a big schedule ahead of him.

So Jesse's gotta write a credit dentist jingle and work on music for his live concert later that night at the Smash club. I didn't know they had entire clubs dedicated to playing Smash Bros but that's incredible.

And then Jesse has to coach a soccer game. Feet to balls. Just like life is doing to him. Poetic irony, innit?

Jesse wound up double booking himself for two shows, he can't keep up with all this shit. jesus christ. does it ever end. holy fuck. how is one person supposed to do all this shit themselves!? WHAT IS THIS GARBAGE!? WHAT THE FUCK!? WHO THE FUCK IS SAMS BATTERBALYJY!>gse>ekdjg lsk ehjLJlhgkjlks jsd

ONE, TWO, FUCK YOU!

Uncle Jesse is zonked after all that shit. But at least the newspaper printed about how fucking awful his shit performance was.

Fucking idiot. Get wrecked for having dreams, dumbass.