Working Girl

Date: September 14th, 2021

Michelle's bangin' on the drums! Like she thinks she's a fuckin' superstar or somethin'. Egosticial bitch. I'll bash a guitar over her head. I don't give a fuck.

DJ wants a job because she's an idiot. I have two and I don't want either of them. Kids these days have no idea how the real world works. They make me sick.

I gotta deal with rude ass customers, man. This one old man was just goon staring me once, looked at my eyeliner and goes "DON'T YOU GET TIRED OF HAVIN' ALL THAT CRAP ON YER FACE!?"

(Spoiler: I do not.)

Had this Jamaican dude not paying attention when I was trying to hand him back his money, so I dropped it on the counter and said "have a good one" and he goes "AW HELL NAH BITCH. I KNOW YOU AIN'T JUST THROW THAT SHIT AT ME. TREATIN' ME LIKE I'M NOTHIN'. YOU SERIOUS? NIGGA. IF YOU WAS A GUY I'D BE FUCKIN' YOU UP RIGHT NOW, DAWG."

He's just scared of my rippling muscles.

(Actually I was terrified he was going to rape and eat me.)

I've had a couple women try to start fights with me at work, and this cutie-patootie milf I used to work with who I totally had a crush on legit had to grab me by the arm and pull me into the back, put her hands on both of my shoulders, looked me dead in the eyes and said "you are going to get killed one of these days."

God that would rule. Perfect end to the movie about my life. Lifetime! Hit me up!

So anyway, DJ winds up dressing up like a clown and trying to make this kid laugh and he just shits all over her. What a rube. Trying to entertain some ungrateful little fuck who just sits there stone faced thinking he's better than the chick who's busting her ass trying to create something cool for him and make him happy, and he doesn't appreciate it. Fucking piece of shit. You think you're better than DJ? The fuck have you ever done, kid? I'll punch you in the chest. Asshole.

DJ can't keep her grades up to maintain her job, so Kimmy forges the F into an A. But F me right in the A, it actually works. Danny is so stupid. He has no right to have children.

Danny tells DJ "I've never been so proud of you" and she melts with guilt. But guilt is for the weak. If human beings aren't supposed to have their emotions used against them for your own benefit, then they wouldn't have emotions in the first place. At that point, it's God's will. Babalon has spoken and said "fuck these nerds."

Uncle Jesse catches onto the forgery because he's the only character on this show who isn't a blithering retard and tells DJ to go home and be a family man.

The moral of this episode is to go fuck yourself if you think you're good enough to be an adult.

I mean, look at me! I play video games, I don't have a driver's license, I'm incapable of feeling any emotions that aren't jealousy and anger. I'm basically five, and I'm way happier than any of you pieces of shit.