Nightmare On Carrie's Street

Date: October 26th, 2021

The Olsen Twins open up this episode by saying they love Halloween because people just "throw candy at you." They usually do that to me when I knock on their door and scream sexist slurs at their dog.

I have a Jolly Rancher shaped scar on the inside of my belly button.

They pettily piss on their parent's pumpkins while people pretend it's posh. Polarizing.

The girls are dedicated to proving how adult they are, with one pointing out they have "three hairs on their legs." Fucking disgusting. Shave that shit you little gorilla.

They don't want to go trick-or-treating anymore, they want to drink booze and do rails of ketamine off their Bratz make-up mirror. Honestly? Same.

The girls wind up sneaking into a party and lying to their parents, which as you can imagine because this is a sitcom, goes over like a fart in church. But honestly? Just let the kids vibe. They're clearly adult minded at this point. The Olsen Twins are businesswomen! They run their own empire! Get on their fucking level, shitheads. You ADULTS should have to ask THEM for permission to go to parties.

I get invited to parties all the time but I'm too cool to ever go. I'm a free spirit. A drifter.

Nobody invites you to parties.

Shut the FUCK UP.

Fuck this. I'm drinking cough syrup.