Animal Forest

Date: July 27th, 2021

It's time to venture out on my own. Start a new life under an assumed name. Like Person Possum or something like that.

Point is, I gotta get out of this spiral I'm in. I'm sputtering out. Goin' nowhere fast. I'm a drifter. A free spirit.

...okay, what I'm actually doing is checking out this English translation of Animal Forest.

Okay. But if I had friends, I wouldn't be playing Animal Forest.

This takes me back to playing Animal Crossing on the Gamecube. Totally different game. Not at all this game with an official Nintendo English patch on it and put on a Gamecube disc. Ignore the fact that you can take the CD out of the Gamecube after the game loads and it'll never try to read the disc again because it's just loading the ROM into your system memory. That's a coincidence. Things can be coincidences, ya know.

PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE WHITE DOG BEHIND THE CURTAIN.

Not since I screenshotted this, no.

The opening of this game is fucking tedious. You just sit on the train listening to this asshole ramble for a while. "What's your name? Age? List of your fears? Butthole circumference?" This guy's invasive as shit. Some things are private, sir!

Depends who you ask.

To some, I'm a villain. To others, a hero. I am many things to many people. I am the be-all end-all of the internet. I'm the genuine article, you two-toned pussy. Fuck you. I'll punch you in the ass.

Hell yeah, bitch.

I'm gonna become a Pooftonian.

Why am I doing this? Is there anyone reading this who doesn't know how Animal Crossing starts? Not to mention, I'm running this on my Android. It's emulating like hot dog shit. It keeps freezing up, menus don't work right. It's almost as if I'm not supposed to do this.

This was really a test of the new controller clip thingy I got. I was playing this while walking around my neighborhood with Dr. Girlfriend. And it all lines up with my own personal anime storyline, as I'm currently looking for a new place to live. Everything's coming together. We're all in sync. We're all *Nsync. Backstreet's back, alright. But who's front? And whose line is it anyway?

SO BE IT!