Buzz Lightyear of Star Command

Date: October 10th, 2021

Is Buzz Lightyear fat or is it just his suit? This is a question that has plagued me for years.

Boy howdy, I love Buzz Lightyear. He's a pretty cool guy. Ehhh, shoots lasers from his wrist and doesn't afraid of anything.

I was a child in the 90s, which means I would watch Toy Story and get paranoid that my toys were alive and plotting to kill me. I even got to be on TV as a kid, because the house across the street got caught on fire and my mom and I were driving to see Toy Story 2 in the theater and we were in the background. My grandma called and was like "ADINGANDGAOGJOGOO YTOU WER EO ON TV!!!"

Yet, when I wanted to audition for All That she told me no. Fat bitch.

Anyway. There was an animated movie, which led to an animated series, about Buzz Lightyear that will eventually get covered on the site. But for now, we're diving into a game that I spent a lot of time playing back in the day: Buzz Lightyear of Star Command for the Gameboy Color.

This game has an epic 8-bit rendition of the Buzz Lightyear theme that always got me hyped as fuck. Ready to shoot some fuckin' aliens right in their stupid, ugly little gay faces.

The sprites are fuckin' ENORMOUS-NORMOUS-NORMOUS-normous. You can always tell what power-ups are what, which is good because I'm a dumbass and I need that kind of help.

The story is about Buzz traveling around different planets to bust criminals. You end up seeing the criminal run away across the level and you have to go stop his ass. It's a really deep story, so if you're intimidated by the gameplay and just want to watch the cutscenes, I totally understand.

And since I don't know what else to say about this game, here's Boss Lightyear, courtesy of I'm Kinda Itchy.

Hell yeah. I don't know shit about Star Wars.