Flapping Online

Date: July 16th, 2021

Yo. I'm sappy, I'm happy, I like my yellow birds flappy.

Call that soap made out of diseased body fat because those were some sick bars.

Many know the lore of Flappy Bird already. Addictive game where all you do is bounce your little bird boy through pipes that totally aren't ripped from Super Mario World and see how long you can go. It was the perfect phone game... and then guilt ate a grown man alive.

Seeing how happy it made people wretched his little goblin stomach and he took the game off the app store, even though he was set to be the most important human being of the 21st century. Now all that's left is my website and the bible. My true competition.

So fast forward to the today times, and we've got Flapping Online: the exact same game, but played with others! So you can see people playing the same maps you are in real time and feel awesome as they hit a pipe, you speed past them, think "i am so good at flapping birds" and then die immediately afterwards because God does not like braggarts. Pride is a sin, my friend.

I am so good at this game. I can get up to like 10 sometimes. It's probably a world record. Don't check. It's a world record. I already know. I'm the Jimmy Woods of birds.

good god when will the horrors of this mortal flesh prison end.