Princess Peach in Super Mario 64: PC Edition

Date: January 1st, 2021

It's a new year, so it's time for a new me! No more being a bitter little goblin. No more giving dirty looks to old people for no reason. It's time to become more positive. Kick this bitch off right, which is why the very first thing I'm covering here on the site is a mod of the PC port of Super Mario 64 that lets you play as Princess Peach.

For those who don't know, Princess Peach is actually the single greatest character ever created.

She's got cute outfits, great hair, a positive attitude and she can swing what appears to be little yellow swords into her enemies faces.

Note to self: get little yellow swords.

If you've ever played Super Princess Peach for Nintendo DS, you'll undoubtedly know that Peach is an emotional little ball of angst. She'll become so mad she can spew fire from her fingertips like Kane, or cry a river and drown the whole world. And while Princess Peach looks so sad in photographs, I absolutely love her when she smiles.

I'm assuming that because this is a mod you can probably connect it to other mods, but I dunno for sure. I don't know about all this tech stuff. I just like to play video games, man. You want a tech review site? Go fuckin' find one, son. This is an entertainment webzine, jack. I ain't here to educate you. It's not my place or my job. First I'd have to educate myself, and I'll die before I let anyone make me any less of an idiot than I am currently.

This is a new day, yes it is. The music even changes when she has her little emotional outbursts! So cute! I wish I had the power to change music around me, but instead I have to listen to god awful modern rap songs at work because of the dude who always gets there before me takes over the boombox. Fuckin' son of a bitch.

I'm just gonna say what nobody else has the balls to say: Princess Peach is a bipolar icon.

I mean, think about it. Bipolar bitches get all the boys riled up. They get boners in their pants and then they get ready to ruin their own lives by letting a Lady Joker into their home because bipolar pussy hits different.

Anyway. I'm in a Princess Peach mood now, so I've decided to repackage my aesthetic.

I'm feelin' peachy.