Old School RuneScape

Date: August 1st, 2021

It may seem as though I know stuff about phones, or how to operate them.

But honestly? I'm like an 80 year old woman. I hunt and poke my finger around trying to figure out simple shit like "how do i hang up this call." When I play games, if it's more than just touching the screen wherever (like Flappy Bird or pinball), I get lost. I have no idea what I'm doing.

Anyway. The point is, my computer ate an entire ass recently and so I've been on a much slower laptop. A laptop so slow and shitty that it may crash if I try to play a game like Old School RuneScape... which gives me the opportunity to review it, I guess.

I dunno, man. It's RuneScape. It plays and functions exactly the same but it uses touch screen technology...

...however. You can hook up a keyboard and mouse to it and it'll work.

Yeah. That's a game changer, dude. I didn't even know you could use a mouse on your phone. Why wasn't I told about this when I bought the fucking thing? Do they just assume everyone knows how modern technology works? I've been using palm pilots my entire life.

When I play RuneScape, I don't really do a lot of missions. I also don't really fight anything. Or go fishing. Or blacksmith. Or whitesmith. Or listen to White Snake. I just walk around and goof around in the chat. That's what I like about MMOs. Exploring the virtual worlds and being a silly goose. That's me. Honk honk.

I'm a fuckin' clown. A joker. A rube. A maroon. A fool. An idiot. A motherfuckin' slab of beef with no mustard. I'm garbage.