Unoo

Date: July 16th, 2021

I'm like the Yu-Gi-Oh of card games, in that I play them.

My favorite one? Thanks for asking! It's Uno.

So naturally, the first thing I did when I got my phone was download an app called Unoo that lets you play against other people on the internet.

Yeah! The internet! This is crazy. I didn't even have to break out my Nintendo DS Wifi Adapter. It just worked.

My great grandmother (Nana!) (nanners.) (nyan nyan) and I used to play Uno all the time back when she was a lot less dead but still pretty close to the edge. At her funeral, my grandma (her daughter) (that's how genetics work) (allegedly) asked if there was anything from her house that I wanted before they started flinging them at the NPC relatives. Main characters get first dibs, so I chose the Uno cards we used to play with all the time.

Which is why I play Unoo on my phone so aggressively: I'm avenging the death of Nana. I also scream "you're banished to the Shadow Realm, bitch!" into my phone so the NSA knows I mean business too.

I'm in love with the soundtrack of this game. It reminds me of the Scrabble '99 PC OST that I also adore... but last time I looked, I couldn't find this game's soundtrack anywhere. I gotta learn how to rip music from Android games now? I can barely turn my phone on! Am I right, folks?

So anyway. You can set up your own matches with different Uno rules in place or whatever... I never do that. I legit just hit the "play now" button and let it throw me wherever. I go into every game not knowing the rules and I still dominate because I am the Yuggy Mojo of Unoing. You're just the Joey Wheeler... will you be Mai Valentine?

WILL YOU BE MY VALEN-TINE!? WILL YOU BE MY MASSACRRRRRRRREEEEE!?