Windows 95 64

Date: December 30th, 2021

Windows 95 isn't my old stomping grounds, but it's close enough that I can rep it without people calling me a fake Windows fan and beating me with a sock full of soap.

I mean, fuck off. I grew up using Windows 98 and 2000. Aesthetically they're pretty similar. I'll fucking throw a punch right now. I'll cry. You can't stop me.

So besides Windows 95, what are other things that make your anxiety levels rocket through the roof and contemplate ending this hellish facade once and for all? That's right. Super Mario 64.

Yeah. There are, for whatever reason, a shitload of Mario 64 ROM hacks that emulate various old Windows interfaces and games. This shit rules so hard.

They've recreated classic Windows 95 games like Doom, Duke Nukem, Chips Challenge and more.

They've got Minesweeper! Maybe I should finally learn how to play it.

Let's face facts, folks. Today's forrays into games are fucking fake. Nobody likes modern games. Skyrim? Whyrim. Real gamers play nothing but Super Mario 64 ROM hacks.

Windows aesthetic runs my life. My computer runs Linux but is themed to look like Windows 98. My 3DS has a Windows theme. My windows are Windows themed. (I wish that were true.)

You should totally seek these fuckers out and vibe your cute little butt off, you slut.

Anyway.

Smoke weed and play Super Mario 64 ROM hacks and quit your job and eat the stuff that grows under your couch.