Anus Magillicutty

Date: August 26th, 2021

It's endlessly hilarious to me that there are people out there who have weird superiority complexes over others despite having never accomplished anything in their lives, nor having ever even attempted to create anything.

It's a strange entitlement to the feeling of being better than others. Where they'll see someone genuinely attempting to create something and piss on it because deep down, they don't like the fact that they're looking at someone who hasn't quite pulled it off yet but clearly has the potential and drive to do it. It fucks them up because they don't have that drive themselves.

So which one are you?

Are you a person who sees someone attempting to improve their lives and the lives of others and scoffs at them and roots for their downfall?

Are you a person who has your own ambitions, but you're somehow threatened by the idea of someone else also trying to do their own thing while you're doing yours?

Or, are you a person who realizes that the only way to advance in this world is through unity, love and helping each other?

These are the questions that lead us to a movie called Anus Magillicutty.

This movie is fucking horrible. I almost shot myself in the face halfway through just because my VCR remote's batteries stopped working and I wanted to end the suffering of this god awful piece of shit movie. Holy fucking hell. The poster describes it as "the worst movie ever made." While it's not as bad as any of the MCU movies, it's still pretty bad.

I don't even have the words for this pile of garbage. Here. Read the IMDB description.

When Anus Magillicutty's woman stops a would-be assassin, Anus is forced to interrupt his life of guzzling beer and women to dispose of the corpse. What starts as a simple chore quickly escalates into a darker plot of deceit and revenge where it seems even Satan himself is after Anus.

That almost sounds cool, right? Well no. It's fucking horrible. I have a gaping wound in my wrist from trying to escape this movie. I call it my Anus hole.

According to the information I'm reading about this, it's 99% unscripted. I'm sorry, but if your improv skills suck this bad you should be dead. I have no tolerance for people who aren't entertaining. Either make me laugh with your words or make me laugh with your tragic death. Those are your only two options. Otherwise, you are pointless.

This pile of garbage makes Birdemic look like Eddie and the Cruisers 2. It makes The Room look like Four Rooms. I wish I had four bullets to put in my head sitting through this shit. This is an embarassment to the art form it alleges to be part of. I could make a porn with nothing but down syndrome actors that had better acting than this. I've had paranoia attacks on LSD that were more enjoyable than this. I've seen fat girls who think they can acquire love with more self awareness than the people who made this movie.

Look. Suicide is usually bad. But everyone involved in this production should kill themselves and film it.

At least then they'd be involved in a production somebody would want to watch.
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