Date: October 26th, 2021

It's time to talk about Creed!

No. Not that Creed. That Creed sucks.

The movie Creed is a bit of an odd one. I like the original Rocky movies. I'm not in like with them, but they're good. But the plot of Creed is kinda retarded so I wanna make fun of it.

So here's how this starts. There's a kid who is in some sort of childcare program and keeps getting into fights with other kids because he's an asshole. But then his biological father's widow shows up, says "hey your dad was a famous boxer and he cheated on me and I'm gonna raise you now." Which is literally retarded.

So as the child grows up to be Michael B. Jordan (not to be confused with the baseball player of the same name), he also falls in love with boxing. Shit's in his blood. If you look at his blood cells, it's just tiny little boxing gloves. But it causes problems as he has to talk to Rocky and be like "hey my dad was the dude that died" and he's like "o."

Eventually the media finds out that Apollo Creed did a sex with a lady that wasn't his wife and had an illegitimate child. The media runs crazy with it. TMZ psychopaths are bent over jizzing in their own mouths, because for some reason this matters to people and is worthy of becoming international news. Like it matters whose balls he swam out of.

So Adonis was trying to forge his own legacy and career without taking the cheap road of being like "do you know who my father is!?" like Draco Malfoy or whatever. But in the end, he's not allowed to accomplish this dream because people are so celebrity crazy and nosy they feel the need to out him to the public, ruin the legacy of Apollo Creed that kept boxing fans all cozy and warm and ultimately get their rocks off until the next big story came along.

The boxing scenes in this movie are really well done. The hits are so crunchy. Every punch is liking stepping on a leaf. It's really good and you feel like you're right there. Maybe if you put on 3D glasses you can get punched in the face.

Adonis even winds up wearing Apollo's old gear and repping the family legacy. Which, I dunno. It's not like the dude was actually in your life at all. You don't have any real attachment to him aside from being told you're supposed to. It just comes off like pandering to a sea of retards who want Apollo back but will settle for his anthropomorphic cum instead. They'd flush Adonis in a heartbeat to get Apollo back, so I don't really see any beautiful moment in this despite how they try to present it.

So let's review.

  1. Apollo cheats on his wife.
  2. His child gets abandoned and left to rot in shitty living conditions.
  3. Kid grows up to be an asshole.
  4. Media finds out that kid exists after he becomes an adult.
  5. Kid is thrust into media spotlight despite doing nothing to have actually earned it.
  6. Kid finally gets to have big career moment while the world is watching.
  7. Get kids knocked the fuck out and loses.

Great movie. Really inspiring.

At some point I gotta go back and review the other Rocky movies. Maybe I'll do it like TNT and watch them in reverse order. But the only reason I watched this one was because Dr. Girlfriend threw it on. I definitely like the other Rocky movies better. I don't go for this Gen Z reboot hogwash. Buncha poppycock.

If you think this review focused too much on Apollo Creed--- you're right! And so did the movie, because not even the movie really gave a shit about Adonis Creed. Even the script writers seemed to be like "fuck why did they have to kill that dude off. This could have been about a real boxer. God damn it. Shit. Fucking hell."