Girlfriend From Hell

Date: May 19th, 2022

During a bit of a self love journey, I decided I wanted to hop into a movie that sounded like it was about me. So I picked a tape to pop in that was named after something I've been called in the past: a girlfriend from Hell.

So like, it's this dude's birthday party. His name's Rocco, possibly named after his brain density. Not sure. But he hates birthdays. He thinks they're the worst. He's literally popping his balloons and screaming at his girlfriend that she wasted her time with all these balloons and such. Gotta say, can't disagree. Fuck this selfish bitch.

We meet [LADY], who is a shy, cock-starved socially awkward dingalfractal. She wants to get a penis shoved in and out of her hair crevice, but she can't bring herself to do it... that is, until our Goddess above dripped some Super Devil Juice down from the sky like pissy acid and baptized the motherfucker. Now she's evil and hot. It's literally that simple. I'm planning on doing the same thing once I hit my growth spurt and stop looking like a microwaved Bratz doll.

...speaking of, I modified the head of this one, ripped it off the body and put it on the end of my pen!

This new and improved Devil Girl is actually the sweetest bitch in the world. She recalls telling Jesus "if you wanna reach people, you gotta have pizzaz!" I've BEEN saying that!

She's everything I want to be in life. Hot, rude and unapologetic. Sure, she sucks the life out of a guy by fucking him but so do some of my BPD having friends. In a day where everyone cries about representation, this bitch lived it every day of her life. We should strive to have her pep. I'm just gonna say it: the devil is spunky with a can-do attitude!

The bounty hunter hunting her bounty used Bounty to wipe up the load he spills every time he sees a lady. He's a womanizer! He even has a sexual history with the devil herself. That's some shit right there, I tell you h'wat.

There's not a ton to make fun of with this movie. It's just really fun and good, and really showcases that whores have the best time in life. The moral of this review is to become a whore.